Since Mo, I have been out without her 7 times and she is turning 7 months on the 16th February, so that’s around once a month. I know it is hard to say and many mums don’t wanna say it cos it makes them feel like a bad mum, but you need to get a breather from your kids once in a while. It is hard being a mum 24/7, the late nights, constantly worrying about your child, thinking of things you could do to make their lives easier. But in order for us as parents to give our children the best life possible, is by giving ourselves a break, whether it be a simple coffee with the friends, going out for a meal, clubbing or even booking a hotel for ourselves just to RELAX. IT’S HARD.
When she was first born, she had a lot of trapped gas, whether you burped her or not, she still had it, and she will cry endlessly, even when we gave her gripe water (which I recommend either giving it to them with a bottle, makes their life a whole lot easier). She would still scream, no matter what I would do, whether I gave her breast, held her against my chest, gave her the bottle, she just wouldn’t stop. And I would think that I was not doing a good job and I would literally break down, I would cry as well, I would be thinking what have I done, what am I going to do. It’s stressful. I didn’t want to turn to anyone and tell them what I was going through because I felt like I would be burdening them with my problems when they must already have their own problems.
Until my mother and my sister told me to go out, because I have not been out for 2 days before I gave birth to Mo, they told me to go carnival with my friends and try and relive a little bit of my old life, knowing that my daughter was safe with them no matter what. And if anything they would call me. I didn’t want to go, it was hard but I had to get some fresh air, for myself, try to get the thought that I was being a bad mum out of my head. And when I tell you… THE FIRST BREATHE OF FRESH AIR!!!!!! I enjoyed myself, I loved it. I felt so good. I felt like I was the old me since I had, had my child.
I felt bad thinking that sometimes I needed to get away from her, I needed to have a break from being a mum. I needed to be free. But those times I get away for even 2 hours, 3 hours. I come back feeling a little more refreshed and ready to take on everything that comes my way. I deserve a break.
Going out with my friends, my sister (who is my best friends, and one of my biggest supporters), gives me a breath of fresh air. And I get excited whenever I get that chance again to go out. I go to the gym whenever I can, I get my own chance to release stress and relax, by a simple job, a simple work out. Or sleeping while her father is watching her or her grandmas, or my sister or her other aunties.
I have seen a lot of people claim that their parents affected their mental health, maybe what we haven’t considered is that their mental health is not in the right state, if we don’t want to be like our parents in some way we need to a=make the change with ourselves .work on our mental health in order to support our children in the best way possible. To all my parents out there, you are not alone if you think you are. There will be times where you feel like you are close to bursting; because you’re stressed you have lot o stuff on your mind. But there is always someone out there is who is ready to listen.
If you have been having negative thoughts and feeling rather down, this is whether you have a child or not, there are so many agencies out there that will listen and try and help you. There will be family members and friends to talk through stuff with you. Call your GP or 111 at times your GP is not available and try and make an appointment. The first stage to getting better, or reducing those negatives feelings that you may have is by putting yourself one step ahead of everyone if other alternatives don’t work. If you’re one step ahead, your child will be able to continue to follow
I’m always here to listen if you just need to let it all out.